Sometimes, you have to thank GOD for food,wine and fine dinning. Thankyou GOD, the almighty. Your hands work wonders and I bet you hear that a gazillion times before.

NOTE TO RAYJAY: OI! WAHLAUEH. Your presents got stuck on an airplane and halfway through, it dropped into the bermuda triangle is it?! Haha. I think it's lost lah. Anyway, you guys should come back to Singapore for Christmas the very least. Things around here are not the same anymore without you guys, not forgetting Devon, who is STUCK being your guardian. Haha. Love you Devon and thankyou for your heartwarming present.

BBQ with my JC class I think like 2 days back, since it's already Tuesday now. It was alright, given that not many knew how to start a fire, by the time we wanted to relit the pit, it was too late. Times like these, you need someone like DAJIE, the BBQ pit starter. Haha. Went home with Val, it was nice given that I've not seen her for like ages and I really mean ages. What? I am 1 month older the last time I saw her.

2 more days and we are entering 2009. Excited? Happy? Sad? I don't know, but I feel scared. Things are gonna be really different when you hit the great 18. Almost everything is legal now and school's not gonna be the same. There will definitely be things that you can never let go in the year that's passing, but trust me, whenever it happens, you'll forget it a month later cause life goes on whether you like it or not. Something that's really valuable called 'age', but I guess I have to like it.(: Just add another line to my wrinkle collection, thanks a lot GOD! Love you all the same though.

Countdown party with 4E4 at Ian's on Wednesday, got to get something that's nice for the gift exchange. Boys will definitely get dead drunk and I really hope nothing bad happens at the sleepover. I just hope they don't rape each other. Hahaha. Ian claims that he wants to rape Jonathan. For the love of GOD, Ian you better not do it in front of me. I don't want to regret 2009. And bad Justin for being selfish and not letting us use his 3 leveled house, I bet you have enough rooms for the guys to get wasted on each other. Hahaha.

LOVELOVELOVE!

MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL!

Don't know why, but I'm not doing anything this christmas. I didn't even christmas shop. WTH. Getting damn lazy now a days. I guess, just wanted to stay with my family today.

Went down to Popular yesterday to check out if New Moon was in stock. There were 2 books when I got there and with a turn of my head, THE 2 BLOODY BOOKS WERE GONE! WTH, I should just camp out in front of the book shelf next time man. Damn it. Now I'll have to wait till GOD knows when to get it.

Thanks guys for sending me the christmas gifts, I don't know how you guys manage to squeeze it all into my letter box. Ray and Jay, why not you guys just ship me the Twilight series! I've already received Devon's. See lah, people I've known for not as long as you guys treat me even better can. Anyway, thank you one and all, must be really expensive to ship something all the way from Russia eh, thanks Joy. Sab's going to Japan for her christmas, like wth again, pack me into your suitcase next time okay! (:

LOVELOVE and GOD bless. Have a happy holiday!

Back last night.

Tired and sick. Fever, cough and sorethroat. ):

Pictures would be up soonish cause they are all in Deff's cam.

Love to all and camp really really sucked. I survived only because of them. (:

):

Going off to Miri tomorrow, church camp. It's more like prison, not even like boot camp. Pfft. Sigh, I am starting to dread the camp, why can't it be in Singapore? I don't want to go so far away! If it were in Singapore, at least I could lie and go home anytime I want to, then I can take a really nice bath. I really hate this feeling. ):

Oh well, since it's already settled, I guess there's no other choice right? Gonna go off tomorrow and then come back on 17th Dec night. ):

I really hope that I'll be like twice as excited as I'm right now(which I'm not AT ALL). I feeling feeling sick already. Sucks.

Bye Singapore and hello NO LIFE. ):

OMG. Hahahahaha, picked up a new book today, Twilight. Finished it already and I'm wanting more! But stupid popular ran out of it, so I have to wait till the time I get back from Miri. ): With all that waiting, I think it's gonna kill me.

ARGH!

Edward is like the ultimate boyfriend and Bella is like the coolest fictional character I've ever met. I am still deciding whether I should watch the movie first before reading New Moon or the other way round. The anticipation is crazy. The bloody movie is only out next year!

I've watched the Twilight movie first then read the book, so it was okay. Don't ask me how, I just did with a lil help from someone. Hahahahahahaha. The movie pales in comparison to the book. The book was beyond awesome.

So anyway, I picked up another book instead, it's Angels and Demons. I know, I think when judgement day comes, God is like going spend most of his time questioning me of my reading choices when everyone else probably gets a 2 min interrogation. But, for the deep love for reading and not forgetting, reading is the main sourse of inspiration for all my works, I will have to do what I have to do. Seriously, Twilight has given me a great deal of inspiration. Thankyou Stephanie Meyer. I really appreciate your work.(:

Now off to wrap up my Angels and Demons before reading. I can't read a book when it's not carefully protected. Hahahahahahaha, I know I'm wierd, you don't have to tell me. (:

Okay, so I went a lil mad yesterday. Hahahahahahaha. But I feel so much better now.

I did a lil anger management on my own. (:

Got myself a new paperback to read. It was a great feeling, sometimes, I don't know why I can't keep calm and think carefully. Such ordinary pleasures do the job. (: So I picked up the book, made a cosy corner on my bed and played several jazz and pop songs. I cuddled myself with piles of quilt and since it rained so much today, the temperature to do so was just fine. I enjoyed so much that it came to a point where I just lost track of time. Occasionally, I would look out of my window and see the tree right outside sway in the breeze. It looks so beautiful. By the time I stopped reading, it was about six plus closing in to seven. And the great thing about my bed, it faces the window, so I was just in time to watch the sun set. Then, I start to think about why I've never stopped everything I was doing so that I could see GOD's great wonders. (: It was lovely, watching the sky turn from yellow to orange to pink to purple to dark blue and lastly, black.

Sometimes, I wonder if I have multiple personality disorder. But up till then, I'm just gonna stay calm and enjoy what life has to offer. Life's too short to be spending it on insignificant people and things that they do. Although I did mean it when I said that they have the right to know that their dressing sense sucks and they look like fuck. Whatever it is, I am definitely leaving the church once I touch down.

I wish I never got to know you. Cold nights like these make me wonder even more about why I'll never to get to have such a great guy like you. Jason Mraz lied, it's not lucky to fall in love with your best friend. It's just not right. ):

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Seriously, no amount of that word can express my anger. I don't understand, I really don't. What's wrong with the church? Why are they such bloody fucking suckers. Don't they have their own lives to worry about? STOP RUINING MY LIFE! I know you guys don't exactly have one of your own, but that doesn't give you the right to trample on ours! Times like these, I really wish that the church I go to is like non-existent. Talk about being so saintly (If there's even this word, whateverr, now there is.). You guys are no far away from us okay!

You guys bitch about us behind our backs. OMG, that's definitely getting you to heaven cause you did it behind our backs not in front of our faces. At least, if we hate you, we tell it to your face, we don't do it behind your back. I mean, you have the right to know that your dressing sense sucks and you look like total fuck (quoted by aik, this was really a good one. Hahaha.) AT LEAST WE DON'T PRETEND LIKE WE LIKE YOU! FUCKERS.

I think after this, I need to take up anger management classes. I need professional help AND I DON'T MEAN HELP FROM CHURCH! Damn it.

I hate all the serving brothers and sisters. To think that I was so gullible when I was younger. I already knew that there was something wrong with this church when I was like 12/13. I already wanted to leave. I didn't stay because of you fuckers. I STAYED BECAUSE I LOVED GOD AND I THOUGHT THAT I SHOULDN'T LET YOU GUYS GET IN THE WAY. But trying to keep up with this sort of lifestyle is getting to me. I don't think I want to live a life like that anymore, if I stayed any longer, I think I would start to hate the fact that I love GOD. Even aik, who made me stay is thinking about leaving already.

TALK ABOUT NOT LYING MAN! YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS LYING TO US! FUCKERS! (Sorry, I know I have a limited vocabulary when it comes to expressing my anger. I couldn't think of a better substitute for "FUCK".) To sister W, what were you thinking when you said "I understand that it's difficult and I symphatise with you." WHAT THE HECK WAS GOING THROUGH IN YOUR MIND WHEN YOU SAID THOSE THINGS?! Did you actually think that I was going to buy that? And there you are pushing the blame to the brothers. If you guys hate us, hate us outwardly! SCREW IT! Don't put on a facade and act like you care. I DON'T NEED YOU YOUR CARE AND CONCERN! DAMN IT.

To sister NC. Your daughter isn't that much of an angel okay. She does bitch and it's not about some stranger, it's about someone who thought of her as a friend! And I thought she and Aik were like friends.

To sister R, I still hate you, maybe even more than ever. Sacarsm is not going to get you far, maybe it did, cause you lived half of your life being the way you are. Well, if GOD likes someone like you to help him in his church, then I have nothing to say.

To sister SL, YOU FUCKING HELL SUCK. I HATE YOU FOREVER AND EVER. YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT TOO! BLOODY SUCKER. FUCK OFF FROM MY LIFE!

So, how do you guys like that? I really hope that all of you are reading this. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?! How do you like being judged by a 17 year old? If you don't like it, DON'T JUDGE ME EITHER! YOU'RE NOT GOD AND YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO JUDGE ME! LOSERS. I'm merely returning the favour, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. It was good to know you guys cause it gave me more reasons to never ever to return back to church. I do not question my love and fear for GOD, but this time, you guys pushed it a lil too far. To burry the hatchet and make peace is never gonna happen. I HATE YOU ALL (well, except for a few). I will never step into church again once I return from this camp. Seeyah in heaven suckers, or maybe, seeyah in hell, since we sinned equally.

Anyway, over and done with that, I feeling so much better now. Feeling less angry I guess. Blogging really helps, maybe I should write a really long thankyou letter to blogger. My dad still refuses to get me an IPhone. He said he's going to get me Nokia E66 instead. ): The shape looks kinda wierd, but it's a really cool phone. I guess, be glad that I can even get a new phone during these times!(:

I miss you guys so much. I wish I had someone else from S6+1 to bitch to. I really miss you guys. Anyways, lovelove to those that didn't piss me off.(: LOVELOVE TO GOD TOO!

-__________________-

That's how I look like right now. *points to that "omg,what a big face" right up there*

My whole family is fighting for the internet bandwidth and being the youngest,I lost without a fight. ): Whateverrrrrr. Besides cleaning up my room,I didn't really do much.

Went out with dookay on Wednesday,gave my dearest a new name so I set myself apart from those who call her dork. SHOPPING! Didn't buy loads though. Saw a couple of people that I didn't really want to see. Oh well, Singapore's small, so there's no point in complaining. Maybe I should study overseas so that I'll appreciate Singapore a lil bit more.(: Bought a lovely highwaisted shorts from F21 and got my jacket! I'm still left with a fedora that I have to get. Does anyone have a cap that I could borrow? Need it to hide my face when boarding the plane which flies off to church camp destination. Anyway, we were trying on clothes in F21 when I saw this group of office ladies next to my changing room whose actions were like hilarious. There were 3 of them and then they crowded around the changing room to look as if they were checking out their friend's outfit to make sure it was alright to buy. You may think nothing's wrong with that. Read on please.(: One was in the changing room and the other 2 were waiting outside, with clothes in their hands as well. GUESS WHAT?! (Seriously,it's a no-brainer) They took turns with that changing room. After one was done, she went to find more clothes. Poor people who were waiting in line. When we went in the second time, they were there as well and dookay was waiting right outside my changing room. Dookay wanted to try on the pencil skirt and so I let her in. But she didn't want to make the other people in line wait any longer, however, guess who was in line next... It was that 3 office ladies again. I pulled her in anyway and commented: " Someone should tell them that this is F21 and not F31!" XD. Yahyah, you guys may think that I'm damn mean. But I'm gonna turn 31 one day and then the little pesky kids in the future would say the same thing about me, so why not I say it now and not regret it later on in life!(:

Went out with mommy on Thursday and bought a black skirt from M(phosis. If it wasn't for church camp, I could have used that $52.60 to buy something better! And it wasn't even worth the price.): After which, went out with dookay again...Looking like a lian. I don't know what the hell was I thinking man. But dookay said the jacket looked like tartan, hopefully she told the truth and not to make me happy. Went to Zara where dook got the heart filled jacket that I wanted at first. She couldn't decide between Grey or Purple so we spent about 2plus hours at Vivo thinking about the choices. Hahahahahaha. If I'm not wrong, she took the Grey one in the end. Still didn't get the fedora that I really wanted.

Went out with Dajie yesterday. So very angry with him. Hahahaha. First, he made me wait at the mrt station like a loser who came too early. Then, he forgot about my present from Vietnam.): *steps on jie* Even though jie is like 183cm, he still acts like a child. All the way from the mrt he repeatedly said that he wants to watch Bolt but I wanted to watch Wild Child. I won the scissorspaperstone, but I gave in to him in the end. Don't get me wrong, Bolt was cute! It's just that I feel sour having to give in to a guy that is of the height of Mount Everest. After which, it was GloriaJean and to Paragon to visit the people working at Metro. Meixin is still working there and they said there are like more cute guys this time. Damn. The flower boy is cute. Hahahahaha. Lifeng and Calvin/Kevin (Aiyah, they have such confusing names, anyway, it's the nicer one that I'm talking about) promoted! They are managers now. Hahahahahahaha, but...they can't scold me anymore! Hahahahahahahaha. Was happy to see them anyway.

Can't decide which handphone to get. It's such a terror when you are put in this position where there is no chio (Yah, I know what you're thinking. But, I'm gonna do what Miss Ni said: "Embrace the Ahlian culture.(:" ) handphones around and you're only given one week to decide. If Singapore had T-Mobile Sidekick LX™, I would be the first in queue for it! But sadly, it's only available in US/Canada and if you want it in Singapore, you have to pay to get it unlocked. I really love the Juicycouture Sidekick as well, but it ain't available either. So I have decided, no matter how much my dad dislikes Apple, I'm gonna lay my hands on an IPhone. :D

This is the unbeatable T-Mobile Sidekick LX™.(:

And the all familiar IPhone.(:

Lovelove to all and God be with you.

Helllllo FREAKS! (recall madagascar)

Was so bored so I decided to start something like a photo diary!I mean,since I hardly get to see any of my friends now,might as well let them see for themselves how I've been living my life! (:

So what did I do today?Hmmm,well......

SPRING CLEANING!I'm starting early cause I have a lot to work on,so much that you have have no idea how long it'll take me.Well,see it with your own eyes then!

My absolutely messy desk.Don't even know how I managed to study with all that mess.

My horribly disorientated shelves.

My computer desk with a lot more than just the computer.

My encyclopedia shelf.Messy with stuff.

Supposed book shelf but stuffed with loads of bags.

This is how my room looks like now.It looks like war gave my room a lil visit (quoted from my mum).Haha.She's just kidding....I think.

Messy messy.

Me hard at work and of course hard at work with taking photographs.(:

After a long long weekend....This is bits of how my room looks like now!

Neat neat shelves!

Clean walls with all the nice stuff people gave me.(:

I use to have this habit of collecting price tags.No kidding.I bet all these add up to like $2000 over.Those were the days where mum bought me polo ralph shirts and espirit without a thought.Thanks to recession,the good old days are now over.

Really tired now,so I'm gonna go bask in my lil lalaland.Why do they call it lalaland anyway?Lots more to do tomorrow and my room isn't close to done (It's already the 3rd day today. ): ) Gonna dream of my Yu too!(: Love him oh so much.

Stagnant life.):

Watched Madagascar2 like some days ago I think.Just like Step wrote in her blog,the movie ain't that good.If not for the penguins,I would say that the story sucked bad.The penguins were really really really cute though,haha,marrying a doll,building a bird like plane,debating whether male monkeys should get maternity leave and etcetera.Had fish&co again,which really made me want to puke after that.Note to self,never to have fish&co within 7 days,it'll kill you,trust me.(:

Shirota Yu is so cute,so cute,so very very cute. =D
In future when I finally become famous,which I will be,just don't know when,hahaha,I want to dress him.(: Along with many other male actors,singers and models.For the females,I think that I really want to dress Victoria Beckham and Tyra Banks.

Went out with Dork,didn't get a chance to meet Louis,in which I would one day,really shopped till we dropped,as in my feet wanted to break,tired,irritated and wants to be a loser for the moment.I can't wait for school to start!I'm sick of staying at home doing nothing and I really can't believe that I'm saying these.

Going to lalaland to dream about him.(:
Baby,you're love and he reminds me of you.

Damn he's hot. (:

I'm never ever ever gonna get to watch madagascar2.):
Dajie has abandoned me and left for Hanoi without watching it with me!Argh!No one else wants to watch it with me.): They say madagascar is childish...): ): ): Might as well watch it on my own then.(:

):
Madagascar2...

Went out with Dookay and Aik today.
Had fish&co.
And as usual,the girls spotted this cute waiter.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE LAST?
Haha.
Rank for checking out hot guys(as quoted from Aik)
1. Dookay
2. Aik
3. Sop
WHY AM I LAST?!
It ain't my fault. ):

Pictures..later or maybe never.

Talked and talked and talked.
Walked and walked and walked.

"To friendship,meaner days ahead and talking to *beep*."
"Hey,that orange girl is waving at you."
"Wth,they called me the orange girl."
"I don't notice them and they just fade into oblivion."

Quotes to remember man.Haha.

Dookay left eariler and the remaining WALKED to cine gloriajean for coffee and more small talk. Omg,we finally cleared up the misunderstanding. WHAT THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSE TO DO WHEN I WAS 12?! Damn. Haha.

Movie watched and merry making while talking to Dajie. Man,girls' are pretty good at multitasking. And no dajie, you're not the last resort. I'll make you watch madagascar2 with me only if I can't find any other willing parties. I helping you to save up cause it's recession now! Haha. And I'm gonna treat you to a gloriajean after that okay! Lovelove. (: Missed you so much now that we are no longer in the same school. Miss all you guys and all that dirty talk. Haha, it's not that I'm perved okay! It's just wierd that I don't get to hear it anymore. ): Miss my hon,wanzhen and chin,hahahaha,wierd not having chin whine at me anymore. Misses xinyi's genius brain and paky morning car pool.

Going off to a new school now. Excited and scared,yah you know,all the drills for a new school. But still really excited.(:

OMG!

Am addicted to gaming and I can't stop!
Wohoo!

My last day at school yesterday.
Although have not withdrawn yet,but who cares.
I ain't going back to school to study!

Went out with dee,step and val.
Will miss them guy loads.):
Had a lot of fun.
Watching "the coffin"...which was retarded.
Oh well,still torn between whether to feel happy that student rate was $6 or to feel sad that I wasted $6.
Went to Spageddies for dinner.
Had a lot of food.(:
Dee has a nice boyfriend.
And it has come to my friends' attention that if I ever did get a boyfriend,he has to
1. Be really rich
2. Be in the F&B industry
Which either way,I don't really mind.XD
Watched the ngeeancity car people.
Whatever they are called.
It was funny.
We even came up with ideas to distract them so that their hands will leave the car.XD
Drowned by Step's lameness and went home.
Read a book,slept and went to apply for RDI today.

The guy that talked to us was cute.Haha.
Really really cute.(:
I'm happy.

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!
DON'T WANT.
DON'T WANT.
DON'T WANT!

Sucks.Morning 8am.Who the hell wakes up that early for school!
Besides normal days...
It's a Saturday!
What happened to 5 day week.
BULLSHIT.
To hell with that crap.

What is Econs Alive going to do?
Get me an A instantly?!

I'm sick. ):
Flu.
Cough.
Slight fever.
Giddy.
Thinking that I'm seeing "things".
Am I dying? ):

Oh well.

It's these kinda days that make me miss you guys even more.
Saw the pictures of your victoria secret fuzzy slippers.
DAMN GAY LAH!
But..
By any chance,can you guys ship me a pair too?
They look damn comfy.XD

And because of this chance,
I'll drag you around like an old rag doll.
You deserve it.
You're pathetic.
I HATE YOU.
I don't ever want to be associated to you.
I'll be a nun if this wish comes true.

Okay,whatever it is,I'm allowed to say anything on my blog.
Cause it's my blog,it pretty much gives you no say.(:

Okeydoke,venting frustrations checked!
Now moving on to PW.
It still sucks.
But hallelujah as I have finished my presentation today!
Whatever the results is.
I'll worry about that tomorrow.
Haha.
Finally downloaded Pharoah,Zeus,Poseidon and Emperor!
Hiphiphooray!
I&R tomorrow.Boohoo.

Sleepy.):

Sorry for the delay,blogging seems to be a chore nowadays.

Well,good news for me.
I think praying really does work now.Haha.
Despite of only studying four days before my promos actually started.
I PASSED!
Ya,you heard me right.I passed.
Not with flying colours.
But black ink on white paper.

And I had the best surprise when I opened my letter box today.
It was really beautiful.
Thanks guys.(:
I think I'll try to not let them die.

Finished watching 21.
Aaron Yoo is hot.XD
And I figured not only do I have OCD.
I am certified Kleptomania too.
Go google it and don't ask me.
I don't really like answering questions.(:

Man,wanted to go out with Ulric today.
But...stupid PW.):

Lasalle or RDI.

Omg lah.
Have been having a headache ever since.
If times were'nt this bad,I would have chosen Parson's.):

Then I could go study with you guys.

So much on my mind.
I can't even study for my A's peacefully.
Haven't been sleeping well.
Pimples.
Dark eye circles.
Rough skin.
Dull skin.

AIYAH!

This sucks.
Recession means no more facial.
No more facial means horrible skin condition.
Horrible skin condition calls for desperate measures.

I think I'll go to school with a brown paper bag mask.Haha.
Oh well.

AIYAH!

Things to do:
1. WORKOUT!
2. Dance
3. Get my ass away from a "no life" life.
4. Stop being an ass myself
5. Stop being mean

Haven't heard from you guys for some time.
Hope you guys are coping well.(:
Lovelove.

YAY!

I don't know why,I don't really feel scared about the immense workload.
I actually feel really excited.(:
I feel ready!
Haha.

I can't wait!(:
It's smiles all day long.
Happy shalalala.

Was trying to finish my book for the past week.
I really felt his pain.
I know it very well.
When I was told to stop dancing till the doctor gives me the green light,
It was that feeling.
It's unmistakable and I know it.
What's a singer without his beautiful voice.
What's a dancer without her legs.
If you're not me.
If you've not gone through this pain.
You won't understand.
So give me a break.
Back off.
Don't tell me that I'm still young and I'll get better.
Don't tell me that I've all the time in the world.
At this moment,
You guys are the ones I least want to see.
I do love you guys.
But just leave me alone for the time being.

(:

It's really decided.
I'll leave.
Everything is well planned out for me.(:
I really want to leave.




I LOVE THIS SONG!
Googoodolls is hawt.

Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

(break and solo)
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am


The lyric's a lil abstract.
Some parts I can't be sure if that's how I should interpret it.
I'm not gonna highlight any line.
Cause.
Every single line is like wonderfully written.
It exuberates pain.
It's probably what I'm feeling anyway.

And.
I tell myself.
Crytoheaven.Crytoheaven.Crytoheaven.

To stay or to leave.
Stay.
Leave.
Stay.
Leave.

You know.
Something tells you to leave.
But yet,something is holding you behind.



I guess it's decided then.

There's something about you that's repulsive.
I can't seem to pinpoint though.
Whatever it is.
It's not in my power to judge.

I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

I can wish can't I?
But I don't think I can be.

YAY!

Papers are finally over.(:
*dances and prances around*

Clever lah,everyone's gone already.
During my promos! ):
No more Devon means no more night drives.
No more parties at your super big and nice house.(:
YOU COULD AT LEAST PASS ME THE KEYS TO YOUR APARTMENT!
No more Joy and Sab. ):
Damn.
This feeling sucks.
Send me postcards!:D

I'll miss you guys like a lot.

Anyway,nothing lined up today.
Gonna stay at home with my family.
Watch shutter with my dad and brother.
Haha.
And that was random Jerome.
Shopping and buffet with people tomorrow!
BUFFET!
White dog's and house bunny on Wed with S6.
Whheeeeee!
Can't wait.

Found another song.
Can't wait to tell Cheter!
Share it with you guys first.



"Do You"

Maybe this decision was a mistake.
You probably don't care what I have to say.
But it's been heavy on my mind for months now.
Guess I'm trying to clear some mental space.
I would love to talk to you in person.
But I understand why that can't be.
I'll leave you alone for good I promise.
If you answer this one question for me.

I just wonder,
Do you ever,
Think of me,
Anymore, do you?

First off let me say congratulations.
Heard that you just had a baby girl.
If she looks anything like her mother,
She's the prettiest thing in the world.
Swear that I'm not tryin' to start no trouble.
Tell your fiance he can relax.
I'll leave you alone for good I promise,
There's a question I just gotta ask.

I just wonder,
Do you ever,
Think of me,
Anymore, do you?

I know what we have is dead and gone.
Too many times I made you cry.
And I don't mean to interrupt your life.
I just wonder do I ever cross your mind?

I just wonder,
Do you ever,
Think of me,
Anymore, do you?

I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore
Do you?

I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore
Do you?

I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore
Do you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Ne-yo's a left handed.
That's uber hawt!

Somehow.Somewhat.Someday.Sometime.
You'll understand.

Kiasu.
That's how you spell it right.Haha.
I brought two erasers to school today.

Chinese was alright.
Maths sucked bad as usual.
SUCKED.

Jeff Buckley.
You died too young.
Wasted talent.



Anyway.
Keyshia Cole and Ne-yo are like hawthawthawt.
Guess I'll just have to give IPod party a miss this time.):
Neyo you move sick.

Becausegoodactorsmakecornyscriptsseemgreat.
Yourenotsoyouaintfoolingme.

I actually survived Econs without an eraser.

Hallelujah.
Jeff Buckley you rock stones and pebbles.(:

Summertimeloveme.
Happybirthdayyou.

Everything's going alright today.(:

Cheter,you have no idea.
Thanks for the credit and now it's your turn.
Thanks for telling me things.
Really.You have no idea.

It wasn't long that I doubted my passion.
I questioned.
Was it the best for me?
Would I become famous for it?
Will I this and that.
I totally ruined the basis of my passion.
I don't need money.
I don't need fame.
I don't need a love of my life.
I don't need anything more as long as I get to do what I like.
I want my family too.
(:

Cheter,you made me realise that.
Don't worry,everything will turn out fine.
I'm lucky to have you as a friend.
But the bus thing was a total embarrassment.
(:

Thanks guys.
I don't know how y'all manage to find such a secluded road.
I felt like there was no tomorrow.
I felt free.
Even if I was only allowed 30mins.
Just 30mins off the knee guard.
Just 30mins dancing.
I really felt like I could do anything.
I'm gonna wait as you guys said.
And we're gonna dance all day all night.
Like there's no tomorrow.
I'll get better.


I hope.

I don't know.
Why am I not motivated to study?
Am I just waiting to fail?
So I can go to Lasalle faster?
So that I can leave thoughts behind?
So that maybe I do stand a chance at US with you guys?
So that maybe and maybe,if my feet was well,I would have taken up the scholarship?
So that?

I should have studied harder.
I should have gone to a better school.
I should have.
So I won't be bothered by all these things.
People around me would just push me to study.
They would look down on me if I didn't.
They won't talk to me cause I'm stupid.
They won't even want to look at me cause I'm not worth their intelligence.
Getting B grades would be a disgrace.
Getting 1 A would never be enough.
I want that kind of competition.
Because I'm not working hard enough now.

If you want to know what's a heartbreak.
Ask me.
I guess,we were never meant to be.
What more could I do?
Too shy to tell you anything.
Too lost for words.
Times like these,I wish I never met you.
Wall.e's story doesn't happen to everyone.
I'm the best example you can ever find.
I have self doubts too okay.
I have self esteem issues alright.
I want to tell you,talk to you.
But I never feel good enough for you.
I can't bring myself to even look at you.

I look at your backview and I feel contented already.
I don't know love.
I don't know self sacrifice.
If I did,I would have let you go.

I hide behind a facade.
Just wish you best of luck.
I won't see you anymore...
I loved you.
Truely.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I feel all better letting it out.
I'll forget all these after today.
I'm gonna work hard like right now.
I hope that I can make it in time.
I want to make you guys proud.(:

I send all my love so that you guys aren't cold over there alright.
Haha.
You don't know how much I miss y'all.
No more late fridays.
Sleepover.
Starbucks.
Non-existent Stargazing.

crytoheavenandrunawaylove.

(:

Yah.
The past few posts were emo.
But whatever.
It's Friday!
TGIF.(:
LOVESLOVESLOVES.

Mugging mode on for the rest of the month.
Devon's leaving for US to take care of the boys.
Joy's leaving for Russia Ballet Academy or some sort.
Sabrina's leaving for Taiwan to further her arts studies.
Why is everyone leaving?
Haha.
I won't cry!
I'll wait for you guys to come back alright!(:
God knows when I'll get to see you guys again.
Work hard alright.
Love y'all.

To rayjay.
Yes,I'm coping well without you guys.
No,no one is bullying me.(Not as though there were before)
Yes,I know it's cold there.
No,I have no boyfriend yet.
Yes,I'm still mending a heartbreak.
No,I do not care if you guys died or not.Haha.Just kidding.
Yes,my leg hurts.I miss piggybacks from you guys. ):
Love you guys loads too.

My first cry and last since you guys have been gone.
I'm gonna stay strong!
I'll find new bestbuddies.XD.
I'll send you guys mail.
I'll send you guys presents.
I'll miss you guys.

To Josh and other people.
I'll pray for you.(:
You know that God's watching over you.
He'll never forsake you nor leave you.
Just open up your heart and he'll be there.
Just like he was in the beginning.
We just have to learn to open up.
I'm sorry.

I know I sound preachy,but who cares.

To Dear,Dee and Val
I hope we guys will stay strong together alright.
I love y'all.
Workhard!

youralteregolovesmeandyouknowit.

What if I never get well?
What if all I could do is just watch?

What if.What if.What if.

I don't want that to ever happen.
I want to make people happy.
I would love to show people what I am capable of.
I did not come so far just to give everything up.

What am I to live for now.

Every possible bad thing is happening to me now.
All at once.
It's difficult to handle.

Why am I the only one left behind.

If granted one wish;
I don't need riches;
I don't want the love of my life;
I just want my legs to be well.
To dance again.(:

A River and an Ocean.

Which would you have chosen?
My story didn't end that way.
Never did.
The river swept my heart away.
Everything died there.
Never once did I look at the Ocean.

Was it fault on my part.
All I could offer is dead.

I cried.
Finally.
For the first time you left.

I just want to be alone.
For now.

OMG.

I love you S6+1,though only a lil more than half was there.
Bimbo talk.Only get that when I'm with you guys.
Gracey,your friend's funny.
Eunice,I have soooooo much fun with you.
Deff,work hard alright.
Mun,from you,I see new ideas for presents.New found respect.
LOVE'YALL.
Misses dorkay and sher.

Photos up like one day.One fine day.

I don't want to be happy.Stop asking me to be GAY.
I can't decide if it's the happygay or the gaygay.
Whatever.
You know I miss you guys.):
Starbucks.Sleepovers.Trashtalk.
Dance.Drinks.Drank.Drunk.
Fights.Kicks.Punches.Hugs.Kisses.
Nonsense.Homework helping.Studying.
LOVES.):

I know pretty much none makes sense.
Too lazy to explain.
So I'm heading to lalaland.
OMG.

Somehow,it's just nights like these when I need icecreams,jay and ray.):

I don't like it when I stay up late to finish homework,I just can't sleep anymore.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

We have so much to catch up on guys and S6+1.

Off to take pills and see if I can go to bed!

"I love and miss you" just doesn't come that easy.
Damn you rayjay,what type of mail is that?!

To
Dee,Val and Dear.
LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOOO MUCH.

Photos will be up like sometime later...but soonish i promise.Haha.

To
Raykwan.I'm sorry.):
It's confession time.

Let's start with the recent ones.
I'm sorry that I ate your sweet popcorn and you attempted to tilt it out of my mouth by flipping me over your shoulder.
I'm sorry I almost made you lose your manhood during that attempt.XD.
I'm sorry for taking your stuff without permission.
The other time when we went for movies and you told me you wanted sweet popcorn only,I was angry and I ordered only salty.I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for spilling wine on your white polo ralph.
I'm sorry for vomitting on your tailored suit.
I'm sorry for using up your favourite cologne.
I'm sorry for creating trouble for you and you always end up being the one that was scolded.
I'm sorry for kicking sand into your eye.
I'm sorry for hitting you accidently with my squash racket at places that were crucial.
I'm sorry for punching you.
I'm sorry for kicking you.
(At least now you know that I am strong enough to protect myself)
During my 9th birthday,you came over and I hated you so bad cause of your stupid spider.I threw it into your shoes and you killed it.THIS,I'M REALLY SORRY.
Remember when it was my 5th birthday,your mum made you hug me and I stomped on your feet.XD.Well,I remember,it was funny,and I'm sorry.But you use to pull my hair,so it was only fair.

I can't remember when was it that we called truce,you jay and me.Haha.
YOU GUYS WERE AWFULLY MEAN.

Now,I want to thank you.(:
It wasn't all bad stuff about you alright.Haha.
Thanks for listening to this brat.
Thanks for keeping me grounded.
Thanks for believing in me.I feel loved.
Thanks for cheering me up when I hurt my legs,I really thought I had to give dance up.From the bottom of my heart,thankyou.
Thanks for shutting me up when I bitched and gossiped.
Thanks for all the free stuff.
Thanks for showing me a world bigger than I thought there was.
Thanks for being the sister+brother I never had.
Thanks for bringing me to your first high school dance.
Thanks for sharing that dance with me.(:
Thanks for being there always.No one like you.(:
NEVER EVER EVER!You'll never be replaced.You and Jay are my life.
I think I will kill myself if you guys died.

Don't know what to do without you guys.
Now there you are gone,I feel kinda lost.
No one can ever match up to you guys.
Live life the way you taught me to and we'll see each other rise to fame one day.
You'll always be my hero.(:
If I didn't know you inside out,I would have fallen for you cause you make me feel protected and loved.Haha.

RAYKWAN!

BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH AN EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIOT!
AND I HATE YOU!

I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU!


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!









I miss you like a lot.):

WALL.E WALL.E WALL.E!

He is like super duper cute!
But I like EVE better,haha,she has a cool arm.(:

Teacher's Day was hectic man.
But we still took like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lot of photos.

Okay,so that's the only decent photo I have.

Live with it.
Haha.

SR!

You guys have no idea.

ZH

LOVES.(:

omg omg omg.

I finally understand how God works in wonderous ways.
I feel grateful.
You have no idea.

I really have to come up with a plan to thank them.(:
They're like my guardian angels.

I watched
As the raindrops pelted down my window ledge.
Raindrops
That clung on to dear life drip gently from the leaves.
I watched
Beyond the trees,to see everything behind a vapour.
Trees
The only thing that seems so clear to me.
I watched
As my life slips out of grasp.
Life
Is there any more to it?

My life

Like the raindrops slipping off tree leaves

Crashing down to Earth

Returning back to nature.

Try living for something so special for more than 12 years..
Just to have someone to tell you that you can never carry on anymore.

No one will ever understand the pain.

Screw it all.

I'm sick and tired.
I just wanna do well.
Is it that difficult?

Studies
CCA
Friends
Dance
LIFE

I just wanna do well.
What motive is left in life?
I really feel like a failure now.

I'm sorry Ray for all the things I said today.
Just let me be and all these will pass.
I'm sorry.

I wanna Ace my studies just like my brother.
I wanna win something for my CCA,for my college.
I wanna be there whenever my friends need me.
I wanna dance as well as my other crew members.
I wanna live a meaningful life.

HOW HARD CAN ALL THESE BE?!

It's hard to continue on..

(:

Thanks Dorky(cause you're like the sunshine) for the outing on Sat.
Felt so loved.(:
I'll upload the photos soonish.

Watched the table tennis finals today with my family.
Haha,it felt good.
GOOD JOB SINGAPORE!
You guys were unbelievable.(:
You make us all feel proud.
I feel proud to be a Singaporean!

I guess you're just feeling lost now.
Whatever it is,I'm always here for you.
If talking to me still doesn't help..
God is always there for you.
Believe in Him and you'll find a better day tomorrow.(:
Alright?
Loves.

I miss loads of people.):

I'm walking away,from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away,to find a better day.(:

):

So tired these few days.
Somehow no amount of sleep is going to satisfy me.

RAYKWAN
Pack your bags right away!
Don't make me go over there and give you one tight slap.
Either that or I'll pack your bags for you.(:

Well,promises are meant to be broken.
Rules are meant to be bent.

I learnt that the hard way.
Because it's your happiness at the expanse of mine.

Was digging through my bag just now and I found some movie tickets.
Haha,forgot to blog about THE DARK KNIGHT!

As quoted from Gracey

Anyway, I FINALLY WATCHED THE DARK KNIGHT TODAY!
I love love love the story line it kept me in constant suspense!
my heart was beating damn hard throughout and i swear my ears were numbed because i kept pressing my hands to them and hiding my eyes under my thumbs. if that made any sense at all.

Haha.Gracey,you weren't the only one that reacted that way.
If I remembered clearly,I did precisely what you did too.
Maybe even more than she did.Haha.
Poor popcorn box.
At times,I had to scoot down my chair so that I only had a half view of the screen and I hid the other half with my hands.
IT'S WORST THAN WATCHING A GHOST MOVIE.

Should have gone with Ray.
Would have squeezed his hands till it was numb.
Would have punched him when I got scared.
And the tiny squeeky boys sitting next to me didn't make me feel safe at all.
They were wierd.Haha.

I LOVE YOU JOKER!(:

I don't know why,but it seems like I'm doing quite a good job trying to forget you.(:

I think I shouldn't stay up late from now on, it's making me all emotional and stuff.):

And because you were the one that taught me what a true smile really was about.(:

Ok,over and done with being emo.

Show you guys some pictures of Israel!(:

I think my dad looks cute here.Haha.

Love you dad.

Come back safe and sound alright.(:

AIKY

Thanks for being such an awesome friend.
I am still hurting from that SLAP you gave me ok,but that advice came timely.
I needed someone to talk some sense into me and I thank GOD for you.

I've let down someone.
GOD,I do not deserve your love.
I've let you down time and time again.
Forgive me of all my sins. I am nothing more than a sinner.
And I realise that I love you more each day.
More than I ever did yesterday.

I share the same thoughts as Dorky.
Even though I spend even more time with my other friends,but none will ever match up to you guys.<3

We have to keep each other grounded okay.

It's time I let you go.
I can't stop thinking.
But no matter what,I will never love again.
It's too much to bear,too much to handle.
It's over now.(:

Maybe because we never did treasure when we had each other.

I loved and lost so to never love anymore.(:

Thanksgiving night.(:

Basically,it's just a phototaking galore!

Haha,Ger is so cute.(:

Ya,I know I'm short...

While waiting for Thanksgiving concert to start.

I so need to buy new shoes.):

Somehow,I always get this pose.

Angel wings and AFROS!(:

Stupid WEIPIN.Haha.HIPPO!

(:

1A07!LOVELOVELOVES.(:

You'll only get the joke if you were there when I was taking this photo.

It's been a long time since I had such a good laugh,I'll love you all the same dear,even though..Haha.

Been real emotional this few days.I know we made a promise,but promises are meant to be broken.It's not your fault that you have to leave without me.The grass will always be greener on the other side,so go and find a better future for yourself.(:

I'll miss you a lot though,come back often.):

Studies is getting tougher,that's just life you say.I know.But some people just have to make me feel worst about myself.I know I am not as clever as you are,maybe that's what you call toughing me up.But sometimes,I really hope that you would tell me that I did my best and to just keep up the good work cause one day,I'll get it right.(:

I'm starting to doubt myself.Was I just trying to supress all that happened?Maybe things are not what they seem and I'm having a rather tough time trying to spot the black and white in this grey area.Please stop getting me confused,I can't afford to lose you.):

Thanks a lot to Cheter and Jer,thanks for supporting me when I really felt like shit.You guys are probably what they call "God sent".(:

Cheter,you were right,if we don't tell our problems to someone,you probably would grow ill.I am feeling the effects now,but I can't tell anyone.No one.Jer,you were right too,humans will never be satisfied.We always see what has not been done and not what has been done for us.

Did you ever realise that I am just here for you.Why look for the greener grass?):

AND CHETER,THAT THING YOU TOLD ME TOTALLY RUINED MY WEEK.Haha.

Dorky,Aiky and Deff,I really miss you guys a lot.